Last night somebody stole my excuses.
Sometime 'round midnight somebody snuck in my bed climbed inside the pit of stomach and snatched my fear. When I woke up I got online and started writing...not 1 but 2 different blogs! After that, since the morning was fresh, I filled out an application for that dream job i always wanted. I dont remember why i didnt fill it out before.
Last night somebody stole my excuses.
Im not sure but i think near the witching hour somebody came out of my closet dived in my chest and ripped the fear out my heart.I woke up and told Sabrena why i dont trust her sometimes..Im slightly insecure. I yell sometimes cuz my ego is fragile something akin to movie boulders (big and menacing but actually weightless and made of foamy soft materials) and sometimes its easier to yell than to deal with the real issues. I dont know why i never told her these things before but it feels good to love and be loved.
Last night somebody stole my excuses.
I cant quite pinpoint the exact time but somewhere around sunrise apparently someone slithered in my ear crept around my brain and took my doubts.YES, I can change my future.YES, I can stop smoking ciggies.YES, I can rebuild my relationships with my children.YES, I can have a lasting meaningful relationship with my Fiance. YES, I can be me. For some reason I just realized that light at the end of tunnel. I just realized how close I am to redemption if I stay the course.
Last night someone stole my excuses.
But I wont get caught slipping again. Tonight im leaving milk n cookies,a thank you note and directions to my insecurities.
Honesty with yourself is one thing, honesty with me is another, but honesty with the world is something that most of us will never do. In the time that we have been friends, and then more, I have seen your growth and admire you for even trying. I accept your fears, your doubts, your pain, and even your fragile ego but I applaud the thief in the night that is helping you to face all of these things... I think I will bake some fresh chocolate chip cookies tonight :)
ReplyDeleteNever read anything from your mom but something tells me she would be proud... Deep my brother...deep and profound. JL
ReplyDelete