August 12th is my Family Reunion . For me it will be more a gathering of strangers.I really am not that familiar with my mothers side of the family except for my immediate aunts and uncles and their children.
Im sure I will have the time of my life but there will also be those awkward moments.When my Aunt introduces me to my 3rd cousin I shared a bed with once as a toddler. Im sure we will both act as though we remember, clumsily hug and and go back to our ribs and cole slaw.Ill shake hands and trade stories with the cousin who I only call "Marquis de Sade" for he tortured me relentlessly.Chest Punches.Indian burns.Purple nurples.Etc.Etc.. Ill hug my cousin who I uncomfortably remember getting a little to frisky with as a child and shake hands with her boyfriend/ fiance/ husband. Ill drink beers with my uncles who I remember as lions amongst men and realize that today they are men amongst lions. As one day I will be.
Except for one relative who will be unmentioned at the family reunion.Because he did the umentionable.Ironically we will see his face among generations of his children although he will not be there.Or even welcome.
But the truth is always stranger than fiction.When I first went to prison in 2003 those 1st days were the darkest.When I thought I couldnt make it I heard a voice across the tier. It was him. At that time I was unaware what he was in there for. I never asked ,was just to happy to see my Blood. But he gave me a pack of ciggies and the tools I needed to make it in there.I probably would have had a much harder time inside without his guidance.I came home feeling like he was my guardian angel only to find out his unmentionable deeds that put him in there with me were unforgivable.Damn.
Honestly I cant wait. Although it will be hard to look my Aunt Lavon in the face ( Ive avoided her for years) because it will be like looking at my mother. Her expressions. Her hands. I miss her cigarette and brandy tinged laugh although she indulges in neither now and is quite the blue ribbon grandmother today.And uncle JB, the coolest uncle possible..ive never seen him run,yell or sweat.He worked and watched sports 24/7. I remember most him helping me catch my 1st catfish at my mothers cabin. Ill never forget that.
My Uncle Jake...He was funny although I didnt get his jokes as a kid. But I got his laugh.I thought it was the funniest thing ever.So whenever he laughed I laughed. And he laughed a lot. I cant wait to laugh with him come August. Maybe I might understand the jokes this time around.
And Lolo.who literally could beat me up until pre-teen years.Whom I share a bond with that transcends states and years. And although she probably should have been a single mother statistic has grinded her way to success and has raised 3 boys no less to adulthood.One a world champion boxer for Kronk (Domonique forgive me for all the times I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried, kicked down your pillow fort or other things I may not remember). I love you cuz!
As a matter of fact I love all of my family.I love all of my "blood strangers".Despite I have friends I know better than a lot of you. I have had relationships with deeper ties than I have had with some of you. My fiance knows me better than most of you. But we have Blood. Something that cant be washed away, discarded or even denied. Its the one constant throughout life.The one thing that cant be taken away. And in spite of what I have been or become I got my invite to the reunion! So come August 12th those no place that Id rather be than amongst strangers that I share blood with. But maybe we should wear nametags. Imjussayin'.
i was all in deeply moved knowing exactly where we are upstairs cuz, life is what it is, hard times come and go memories or sorrow and pain is what help me see life in a different way, thanks for being you, i love you dearly, you have made me cry smile and laugh in the few moments of your heartfelt memories, once again, spoken from the heart
ReplyDeleteCuzo is it in Detroit ill go with you!!!!!!Enough Said {Derrick D wilson Sr.}
ReplyDeleteMan that deep, hey it make me wonder about myself. I always thought I was by myself growing up. I Tried to latch to family all my life . Then I read your little story, which is big story to me and you had life worst than me. even though you are an few yrs younger, I wish I could 've help you out or hang with you little more luv u cuz.
ReplyDeleteyou and uncle jake, at the end of the pier, not really moving, majestic somehow. you were doing man stuff. i watched you from the shore, a kid in the reeds. i felt that it was something sacred, something i couldn't be a part of. but watching you standing so upright, i didn't really want to. it was all yours.
ReplyDeletei cant get that image out of my head to this day. i smile thinking about it...